The Playbook Guide 03
Playbook Guide 03 · Engaged and planning
Regular Season
The middle stretch of your season: don’t let the title mislead you. There’s nothing “regular” about the people, the look and the habits that carry you to the day.
Julian Harrell 6 min read 
The Principle
Build momentum, not pressure. The Regular Season is where most of the preparation happens. Steady, intentional progress on your people, your look and your wellbeing beats a frantic final push, and it leaves room to enjoy the season you’re in.
The Essentials
- Choose your wedding party. The right people make the planning easier — and the celebration more memorable.
- Make a short list of the people who you know will show up for you.
- Think about who adds calm, not just who you owe. Hint: sometimes our “given family” isn’t as reliable as our “chosen family.” Embrace it, and be grateful for the ones who do show up for you consistently and intentionally.
- Ask them personally. Even though it’s a comparably smaller ask, moving with intention goes a long way.
- Book tailoring and get measured. Custom and made-to-measure both need lead time for two fittings.
- Decide off the rack, made-to-measure or custom; each needs different lead time.
- Book a first appointment four to six months out.
- Plan for at least two fittings, with your wedding shoes at the last one.
- Start a fitness and wellness routine you can keep. Consistency beats intensity when the date is months away.
- Pick a routine you’ll actually keep: three consistent sessions a week likely beats sporadic sessions with randomized intensity.
- Set one realistic goal, like energy, posture or how the suit fits.
- Protect sleep; it’s half the result.
- Find your signature wedding fragrance. A scent ties the day to every anniversary after.
- Sample two or three scents this month, on skin, not paper.
- Wear each option for a full day before deciding.
- Keep it for the day itself, so the scent ties to the memory.
- Choose your wedding bands together. Bands take time to size, engrave and deliver.
- Visit one jeweler together to try styles and widths.
- Allow time for sizing, engraving and delivery, often six to eight weeks.
- Decide on matching, complementary or completely your own design.
- Plan the crew weekend. Dates fill up fast for everyone involved.
- Poll the group on dates early; calendars fill fast.
- Choose a plan that fits everyone’s budget.
- Book the essentials, travel and stay, first.
- Choose wedding party gifts. Thoughtful gifts often need time to curate and personalize.
- Pick one idea per person, something they value.
- Leave time for personalizing or engraving if it’s on brand for the occasion.
- Add a short handwritten note to each. Hint: a wax seal is a nice touch.
- Pick your shoes and break them in. Comfortable shoes are the difference at hour ten.
- Order your wedding shoes early.
- Wear them at home for short stretches to break them in.
- Bring them to your final fitting so the hem is right.
Self-Reflections
Questions for honest self-assessment and curiosity to help build confidence as you progress through your groom season.
- Who do I want standing next to me, and why?
- What does feeling my best on the day actually mean and look like?
- What routine can I keep with intention and relative balance?
- Which details matter most to me: the suit, the shoes, the bands, the scent? Something else?
- How do I want those closest to me to feel when they look back on this season?
- What can I hand off or delegate, and what do I want to own myself?
- Am I still checking in with my partner consistently? How often is that?
Potential Missteps
- Asking people out of obligation instead of choosing who will truly show up.
- Booking tailoring too late for two proper fittings.
- Starting an intense routine you can’t keep up or that falls apart under pressure (e.g., the holidays).
- Buying shoes the week of and breaking them in on the dance floor.
- Letting the weekly check-in slide as time goes by.
Julian's Journey
Sharing tidbits from my own experience that may help discern your own confidence level:
Who did you choose for your wedding party, and how did you ask them?
We decided against a wedding party. The emphasis is on the setting and having a hyper-curated guest list so that everyone has a more bespoke experience.
What does your tailoring timeline look like for Castello Ruffo?
My goal is to select my suit before Christmas 2026 (it’s the end of October as I write this). It’s a little spooky thinking about this (I’m writing this on Halloween, nonetheless), particularly because there are so many choices out there. That said, I’ve been enjoying a lot of internet browsing and real-life window shopping. Even once you see a design you like, it helps to go in person, see the contours, feel the fabrics, and have real conversations about the details.
How are you approaching fitness and grooming in the months before?
My current goals are a refinement of what I was already doing: 5–6 days of exercise a week with 1 or 2 rest / mobility days. My exercise routine includes a mix of weights, bodyweight, cardio, and a consistent step count (averaging 8K–12K steps each day). I’m also prioritizing 5 grams of creatine, 150–200 grams of protein, fruits, vegetables, fiber (I use a supplement a few days a week), minimizing alcohol consumption (averaging fewer than 3 drinks per week), and hydrating.
From a grooming perspective, I’ve had the same routine for a while. In the morning, I use foaming cleanser, B5 face serum, and face moisturizer, all by La Roche-Posay. I also add in Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen SPF 50. In the evening, I use the same products but swap out the sunscreen for retinol B3 face serum (also La Roche-Posay).
From time to time I like to add in a Pacifica stress rehab coconut + caffeine face mask.
One thing you’d tell a groom in the middle of his Regular Season.
Consistency and connection over everything!
Talk with your doctor before starting any new supplement, diet or exercise routine.
Checklist
Tick items off as you go. Your progress stays on this device.
Make it yours
From the ask to the aisle.
The Curator is Grūm SZN’s premium offering: it helps you focus your priorities relative to how much time you have and moves with you along your journey. One-on-one sessions with Julian can be added à la carte (volume discounts available) for a bespoke service experience.
Grūm SZN shares personal experience and general ideas only. Nothing here is legal, financial, insurance or mental-health advice. For decisions like budgets, contracts or insuring a ring, talk with a qualified professional.